on (im)balance

as many of you -- our devoted and manifold readers -- may have guessed, being lazy is a complicated, multi-faceted endeavor. we can't be all lazy all day every day. you see, we gotta keep our eyes on the prize. it's all about minimizing the effort put into essential (but boring) survival activities and maximizing laze put into essential (and rewarding) leisure activities. here we edge the crux of lazy bitch philosophy, but instead of going balls out about it, i'm just gonna make you a list.

boring survival activities
1. working
2. waking up
3. paying bills
4. cleaning
5. blinking

rewarding leisure activities
1. lounging
2. sprawling
3. lazing
4. leaning
5. staring at things

one way to achieve the ultimate lazy balance is to combine leisure activities with survivial activities. stare at things around you at work. sprawl on a soft pillowy bed while you're paying your bills. lean against the wall while you're doing the dishes. by incorporating leisure into the basic activities you just have to do (we've tried not doing them and things don't work out), you too can maximize the lazy goodness in your life.

school makes a bitch sleepy

sleepy things about today:

1) klonopin is sleepy.
2) talking about "truth" and "facts" is sleepy.
3) socializing when you're undersocialized is sleepy.
4) trains are sleepy.
5) missing yr girl is sleepy.
6) libraries are sleepy.
7) awake is sleepy.

awake things about today:

1) triple lattes are awake.
2) arguing with brit prof is awake.
3) driving in a car is awake.
4) mariah carey is awake.
5) seeing old/new friends is awake.
6) sleep is awake.

sedate sunday

i'm catsitting up in harlem. the cat is skittish and hisses at me sometimes. even boy cats don't get me.

i spent the day reading the sunday times. then i took a long bubble bath and found some speakers for my i-pod in a closet. things i learned today:

1. i miss tony.
2. expired vicodin is, purportedly, still effective for up to 100 years. i will report back on my experiment with this later tonight.
3. rich people can be as dirty as i am.
4. how to use a coffee press! (i am woefully ignorant when it comes to coffee-making).
5. the smell of wet catfood will always make me wanna vomit.
6. reading the times makes me experience the range of human emotions, most pressingly intense frustration at abuse of the english language.
7. snow makes bitches lazier.

lazy bitch mischief

then the younga

bein a lazy bitch is harder than you think. ya gotta be a wise ass lazy bitch. you gotta know when to be lazy and when to front. for example, today at work, i played a lot of web su doku. it takes me approximately 45 minutes to complete the evil round. i played 2 rounds. then i printed some out and hid them underneath a flyer. you gotta be smart. gor example, yesterday at work, no one was around, so i took some naps. if people were around, i would've been awake. or i would have gone into the bathroom stall and napped, one of my least favorite napping spots, but it gets the job done.

The Elder and i are lazy bitches with a plan. we can't talk about our plans just yet, otherwise we'd have to kill you.